“I’m worried.”
How often have you said that? Been saying it more recently?
Worry is part of life. In fact, I recently read about a study that found that people worry on an average of about one hour a day.
When something is important to us, we worry. We worry about ourselves. We worry about our loved ones. We worry about the world.
If you are living with a chronic condition like a bleeding disorder, then chances are you may also worry from time to time about health-related concerns. You may worry that you might forget to take your medication. You may worry about what your doctor is going to say at your next appointment. You may worry about how you are going to feel if you get a cold.
So, you may be thinking: Isn’t worry the same thing as being anxious? It is not. Here are some characteristics of worry:
- Worry does not have to interfere with your life or stop you from doing what you need to do.
- Worrying is unpleasant but it does not overwhelm you.
- Worry is usually related to something specific, like an upcoming event or a potential occurrence.
- Worry usually comes and goes. It is temporary.
Anxiety, on the other hand, lasts a lot longer, hours or days. Often, people who are feeling anxious do not connect their anxious feelings with a specific event. The anxiety is just there, and anxiety is often accompanied by symptoms, such as a headache, trouble sleeping, and inability to relax, among others.
Worrying can lead to high anxiety over time.
So, why worry? Because you are human, but that does not mean you have to live the life of a worrywart. Here is what you can do to tame those worrisome thoughts:
Put names on your worries. Okay, so you are worried. What are you worried about? Something you might do or not do, or that might or might not happen? Identify your worries rather than letting them float around like dark clouds. It might help to make a list of all the things that are worrying you.
Identify the possible outcomes. Take a moment and think about how each of the things you are worried about might turn out. An effortless way to do it is to play some “what if” with your worries by finishing this sentence for each one: “If __________ (your worry goes here), then _____________ might happen.” Keep in mind that each of your worries may have more than one potential outcome, some worse than others. Consider all the possibilities. Who knows, once you take a close look at the outcome, you may decide you have less reason to worry.
Consider the solutions. Now that you have identified the potential outcomes of whatever it is that’s worrying you, then it’s time to take a look at solutions. Time to consider that sentence completion technique again: “If _______________ happens, then I can _____________.” Of course, some of the solutions may be easier than others. But at least by thinking through the alternatives, you have a better idea of what you might be up against and where you may need to put your energies. But what if you are not sure how you would begin to figure out a solution?
Accept that life is uncertain. A main cause of worrying is the dislike of uncertainty that pretty much all of us humans have in common. We want to know how life is going to turn out. And want to be in control of how that happens, but we are not in control. Life feels a lot more manageable when you accept that you can’t control the future. With this acceptance, what you can control becomes a whole lot clearer.
Talk to yourself. A little pep talk, a few words of encouragement, can make a difference when you are caught up in worrying. Remind yourself that you are doing the best you can. Review what you have done in the past when you have had a similar worry. Recite any words of wisdom you’ve heard or read to help to calm you down, and to inspire you to keep going.
Throw in some tough love. Worrying does not stop terrible things from happening. Just saying.
Say it aloud. Expose your worries to the light of day. Sit down with a friend and talk about what is on our mind. An objective viewpoint can give you some needed perspective. So, reach out for support!
Make use of your worries. One way to avoid worried thoughts is to stay on top of your self-care regimen. If you are doing what you need to do, then there is one less thing to worry about. Right?
It is only human to worry, but you don’t have to give in to those worried thoughts. Stare them down, break them down. Accept what you can and can’t control. Focus on what is possible!
Dr. Gary McClain, MS, PhD, is a psychotherapist, patient advocate, and author, specializing in helping clients deal with the emotional impact of chronic and life-threatening illnesses, as well as their families and professional caregivers. His website is JustGotDiagnosed.com. His email is gary@JustGotDiagnosed.com. He welcomes your questions and comments.
Photo by Christian Erfurt on Unsplash